Train of Thought

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The train of constant incomprehensible thoughts won’t leave my mind, like a cloudy sky on what’s supposed to be a sunny day. The constant need to express, to finally put down what I think into writing is eating at my soul, but expression is nevermore. Anything I write seems to be the badly drafted version of the real deal, like a paper you wrote the night before. Maybe that’s why I decided to share my mind with the few people in the world that will somehow find this post, to trick my brain into allowing me to rid myself of the weight I carry in my head, heart, and soul. There may be others like me, souls trying to find a safe haven for their thoughts to reside without a constant collision, without the excruciating confusion that brings out the worst conclusions. My mind is a cloudy mess with no clear explanation to any question, and I feel like I’m floating in the midst of my own despair. With every new word I write I feel like taking it all back, deleting it all, and swallowing it back; burying everything in the depths of the darkness inside of me. Every memory, every thought, every new idea, is tainted by the mess that it’s being throw into and I feel powerless against the forces that lie within me. I want to pour it all out, I want to find equilibrium and peace between me and the internal storm in my mind, I want the ability to write out my mind like I used to before.

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5 comments

  1. I just loved this piece. How often such thoughts have passed by my mind! Keep revealing the drafts. Sometimes the first drafts are such masterpieces that any edit later would take away the essence.

    Liked by 1 person

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